Subscribe (RSS)I order a lot online, but oddly, I haven’t had anything shipped via UPS in a long time. Usually, it’s FedEx and deliveries are without incident. This time, though, my package went UPS, and my sanity with it.
Delivery was scheduled for today. What a joke. Here’s a play by play:
5:50 AM - The package is marked “Out for Delivery”. No timeline, but that’s pretty standard.
8:00 AM - 5:00 PM - I track the package periodically, checking for updates. Still “Out for Delivery”.
6:00 PM - I call UPS to try to get more information about the status of my delivery. They know nothing more than it’s “Out for Delivery”. My apartment complex office is now closed, so I verify that an attempt will be made to my door. I’m assured that that’s the case. I’m told that deliveries will be made up to 7:00 PM.
7:00 PM - I call UPS again, to let them know that it’s now 7 PM and no delivery has been made. I’m told that deliveries are sometimes later than 7 PM. I’m assured by the representative that the delivery will be made even past 7 PM. The local UPS office is now closed.
8:00 PM - I call UPS yet again, telling them that my package has still not arrived. This time, the representative tells me that it could be as late as 12 AM before my package is delivered. 12 AM? Yes, I’m told. After the 7 PM deadline, the next deadline is 12 AM.
9:00 PM - I track the package again. To my utter shock and intense rage, I see that it has now been marked as “1st Delivery Attempt Made”. WTF?! I have been literally held hostage in my home, fearing that the minute I went anywhere would be the minute the God-forsaken UPS driver would decide to show up. No delivery attempt was made. No note on my door.
9:05 PM - After I finish reciting cuss words. I call UPS one more time. I tell them what happened: that no delivery attempt was made and that there’s no note on my door. The driver simply decided he/she was done for the day and scanned my package as an attempted deliver. The response: “We’re sorry. Unfortunately, the local office is now closed, so we cannot contact them until the morning.” Seriously? I hang up and recite a few more cuss words.
So, basically, whether your package is delivered, in UPS’s alternative reality, is at the total whim of the delivery driver. If they just don’t feel like working, if they just want to go home and watch primetime TV, if they just want to take a nap on the side of the road or hire a hooker, they can just say they tried to deliver and you weren’t there.
Your options? Bend over, spread wide, and lube up.
This is totally unacceptable customer service. I’m going to write the merchant, inform them of what happened, and maybe they’ll stop using UPS. More likely, I’ll be ignored. I set the package for pickup, so I don’t have to repeat the whole damn thing again tomorrow. I’ll probably chew some ass. Maybe, I’ll file a complaint against the driver. The results? I’ll likely expel CO2, needlessly, and waste a piece of paper. The bitter truth is that there’s really no recourse for the end user.
What can Brown do for you? Make you bleed from the rectum, that’s all.
Tags: complaints, shipping, ups
zain Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 1:22 am
A little overdramatic, don’t you think?
chrisdpratt Says:
October 13th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
@zain: Not really. It’s not that my package didn’t arrive when it was supposed to. That’s only a minor inconvenience, and complaining about that, true, would be overdramatic. However, my true complaint is with UPS customer service (or lack thereof) and their seemingly complete inability to have any effective control over their own employees.
Now, perhaps my wording goes at bit over the top, but it’s the result of the sum total of all my frustration. It it nothing less than insanity that huge corporations run their businesses with virtually no internal oversite, commitment to quality or concept of customer service. They survive and thrive solely on the basis that their customers generally have little choice but to do business with them. I’ve seen the same behavior from Wal-Mart, Verizon, AT&T, and so on. And, we, the people who line their pockets with money have no recourse or avenue for our dissatisfaction. The only thing that could effectively remind them that the customer is what matters is for their customers to unitedly turn away, but they’ve all positioned themselves such that that would never and probably could never occur.
The result is that all you can do is take it with a smile, so no, I don’t think it’s overdramatic to say that I feel a little sore in the posterial region.